And as the Christian lord rests, on a Sunday, so does John Brackenridge, for the library is closed.
For those dearest of readers who no doubt sought to petition Parliament (that whore's nest of incestuous vipers) for my treatment by supposed agents of the Crown, I shall put your minds at rest. Having summonsed the Fire Brigade, I saw fit not to rain down piss upon the balding aggressors. It seemed that the matter in dispute, that I was not a Mr Michael Hunt of the same address, was soon rectified.
It seemed that the gentleman in the larger white helmet of the Brigade, was in fact the Michael Hunt in question. His hose reel was seized by the bailiffs, despite a valiant battle on my front lawn which attracted quite a crowd. With matters coming to an unseemly conclusion, I directed Melvin to intervene and utilise his newly discovered pugilist skills. I had insisted he sport the leather chastity belt prior to coming into contact with the aggressors on the lawn, a decision which acted to aid the element of surprise which secured his victory.
I concluded the affair with some lines from Auden.